Posted on September 15 2016
Back in January, I wrote a blog post for Selfish Mother, around 4am in the morning with one hand on my iPhone while breastfeeding! Thought you might like it!!!
I’m an optimist and an extremely positive person. I’ve always had a strong sense of self, understanding my moods, knowing when I’m down and knowing what to do to pick myself up.
Since becoming a mum all, even closely related, thoughts of self were abandoned in those early days. My personal needs and wants went on a sabbatical! Eight weeks in and I’ve managed to buy a few new items of clothes (inspired by @dresslikeamum), wash my hair a few times a week and manage contact lenses and makeup at least once a week!
There is one thing though that made me feel better than all of that. Being told I’m “doing a great job” is the winner. I’m not too fussy where it comes from either. My mum, sister, MIL, friends, favourite barista in the local coffee shop. But your other half telling you ‘you are a great Mum’ and you are doing an amazing job of growing a tiny human into a big human definitely makes the sleep deprivation, late night feeds (where your little one is bobbing his head on your boob with his mouth closed which is happening right now), and the efforts to console your babe after he’s had his first injections all the easier.
New mums spend their days in the detail and we lose sight of the big picture – it’s all ‘what colour was his poo’, ‘how long was that feed’, ‘how do I get rid of the condensation from my breastpump tube’, ‘am I depriving him of something by not bringing him to baby classes yet?”. Being reminded that we are awesome at the bigger task of keeping a tiny human alive can help us not sweat the small stuff too much.
You never know what mental state a new mum is in, so to do her the world of good (even if she looks so together, especially so) tell her she is doing a great job, an amazing job. No matter if the baby is in on 95% or 9% percentile, or the baby is calm and content or cries all the time – this mum is doing her absolute best. It’s likely she hasn’t got a clue and is totally winging the hardest job in the world (by the way when are we ever so unprepared for a job?? We study for most jobs before we do them!). And you never know when those little words are needed most and can pull her of a darker place and back into the joys of motherhood again. For this is the greatest yet hardest job in the world you can’t prepare for and knowing people have got your back and think you are doing it well can only have benefits and brownie points too!!
So mums, dads, sisters, brothers, friends, regular coffee makers and especially other halves tell the mums in your life (new mums or seasoned pros – it’s still nice to hear it too) how amazing they are and that they’re doing a great job!!!
PS throwing in a ‘you look fab’ too by the way will earn you extra brownie points!!!
PPS Yesmum cards available here